‘People who live in glass houses, shouldn’t.’ [Brett Andy]
February 25, 2015 | Categories: Deep Thorts, Humour | Tags: brett andy, deep thoughts, fun, glass houses, random humour | Leave a comment
‘I would imagine a horse drawn carriage would be a really ugly thing. For starters, it must be almost impossible to grip a pencil with hooves. Plus there is all that fine detail around the edges to consider.’ [Brett Andy]
July 1, 2013 | Categories: Deep Thorts, Humour | Tags: deep thoughts, fun, funny, horse drawn carriage, humour, Jack Handeyesque | Leave a comment
‘Do you think if minutes were edible, they’d taste good enough
that we’d want to go back for seconds?’
[Brett Andy]
June 2, 2013 | Categories: Deep Thorts, Humour | Tags: brett andy, deep sayings, fun, humour, jack handey, Jack Handeyesque, seconds, time | Leave a comment
‘Bob suspected that someone at his Zebra birthday party was not playing by the rules. Suddenly his worst suspicions were confirmed as he caught sight of a cheetah.’
[Brett Andy]
May 26, 2013 | Categories: Deep Thorts, Humour | Tags: brett andy, cheetah, fun, funny, Jack Handeyesque, postaday, zebra | Leave a comment
I would suggest that if you saw something in the sky and thought it was a bird and then later changed your mind into thinking it was a plane, but then found out it was actually a flying man, that a visit to the optometrist would not be the worst use of your time.’ [Brett Andy]
May 25, 2013 | Categories: Deep Thorts, Humour | Tags: bird, brett andy, deep thoughts, fun, funny, Jack Handeyesque, plane, superman | Leave a comment
‘Before you criticise someone, walk a mile in their shoes. Then, walk half a mile in their shirt, followed by another full mile, this time in their pants. Walk two more miles in their underwear and then criticise them all you want.
Also, they’re naked.’
[Brett Andy]
May 24, 2013 | Categories: Deep Thorts, Humour | Tags: before you criticise, brett andy, criticism, deep, fun, funny, insightful, naked, nudity | Leave a comment
“I wish I had the balls to do that, I thought, as I enviously watched the juggler.”
[Brett Andy]
May 16, 2013 | Categories: Deep Thorts, Humour | Tags: balls, brett andy, deep thoughts, envy, fun, funny, humour, juggling, misdirection | Leave a comment
“I HAVE LEARNT IN LIFE THAT YOU SHOULD NEVER MAKE FUN OF SOMEONE ELSE’S GRAMMAR…
BECAUSE SHE MIGHT TURN OUT TO BE A REALLY SCARY LADY AND COME AND BEAT YOU DOWN WITH HER STICK.”
[BRETT ANDY]
December 13, 2012 | Categories: Deep Thorts, Humour | Tags: brett andy, fun, funny, grammar, grammar police, old people, one liner | Leave a comment
‘I THINK IF I WAS GRANTED THREE WISHES, I’D BE ALL LIKE, “WAIT A MINUTE, FIRSTLY, WHO ARE YOU? AND WHAT WAS I DOING CLEANING THIS LAMP?”‘
[BRETT ANDY]
December 12, 2012 | Categories: Deep Thorts, Humour | Tags: aladdin, brett andy, fun, funny, genie, lamp, one liner | Leave a comment
“IF ANYONE OUT THERE THINKS I AM JUST AVERAGE AT CRASTINATING, YOU WOULD BE DEAD WRONG.
I AM A PRO CRASTINATOR!”
[BRETT ANDY]
December 11, 2012 | Categories: Deep Thorts, Humour | Tags: above average, brett andy, fun, one liner, procrastinator | 2 Comments
“I WAS WALKING DOWN A DARK ALLEY THE OTHER DAY UPDATING MY TWITTER WHEN I NOTICED SOMEONE HAD JUST STARTED FOLLOWING ME.”
[BRETT ANDY]
November 7, 2012 | Categories: Deep Thorts, Humour | Tags: brett andy, follow, fun, humour, one liner, twitter | Leave a comment
“TWO DAYS INTO MOVEMBER AND I AM REALLY TIRED. I HONESTLY DON’T KNOW IF I CAN KEEP THIS UP FOR THE WHOLE MONTH…
…OH, AND I AM ALSO QUICKLY RUNNING OUT OF LAWNS.”
[Brett Andy]
November 2, 2012 | Categories: Deep Thorts, Humour | Tags: brett and, fun, lawns, movember, one liner | Leave a comment
“I JOINED AN ANTI-CONFORMITY GROUP, THEN IMMEDIATELY LEFT, TO PROVE TO THEM I BELONGED.”
[BRETT ANDY]
September 20, 2012 | Categories: Deep Thorts, Humour | Tags: brett andy, comedy, fun, funny, one liner | Leave a comment
“DON’T JUDGE A BAND BY ITS COVER.”
[BRETT ANDY]
September 14, 2012 | Categories: Deep Thorts, Humour | Tags: band, brett andy, cover, fun | Leave a comment
“I ONCE DREAMED THAT I WAS ASLEEP, BUT WHEN I WOKE UP, I WASN’T!”
[BRETT ANDY]
February 17, 2012 | Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: brett andy, dream, fun, one liner, reality, surreal | Leave a comment
“LIKE A BRIDGE OVER TROUBLED WATERS, I WILL HOPEFULLY HAVE SUFFICIENT STRUCTURAL SUPPORT TO NOT CRUMBLE HELPLESSLY AND BE WASHED DOWNSTREAM.”
[BRETT ANDY]
February 9, 2012 | Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: brett andy, bridge, fun, one liner, simon and garfunkel, water | Leave a comment
“I HAVE A PURPLE STAIN ON MY SLEEVE FROM CHOPPING VEGETABLES THE OTHER DAY. PEOPLE HAVE BEEN A LITTLE FREAKED OUT BY MY MARK OF THE BEETS.”
[BRETT ANDY]
February 8, 2012 | Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: beetroot, brett andy, chopping, mark of the beast, one liner, purple, stain, vegetables | Leave a comment
“I SWUNG WITH ALL MY MIGHT AND TO MY GREAT SURPRISE I HIT A HOMER! “DOH!” HE GROANED, AS HE CRUMPLED TO THE GROUND.”
[BRETT ANDY]
February 6, 2012 | Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: baseball, brett andy, fun, home run, homer, one liner, simpsons | Leave a comment
“DO YOU KNOW WHAT MAKES ME LAUGH? A TAXIDERMIST FILLING OUT TAX FORMS IN A TAXI. GET YOURSELF AN ACCOUNTANT, MAN!”
[BRETT ANDY]
February 6, 2012 | Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: accountant, brett andy, fun, humour, one liner, tax, tax forms, taxi, taxidermist | Leave a comment
“I REALISED I’D BEEN MAKING A MOUNTAIN OUT OF A MOLEHILL. THE MOLE FAMILY, IN PARTICULAR, WAS NOT AMUSED.”
[BRETT ANDY]
February 3, 2012 | Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: brett andy, fun, mole, molehill, mountain, olehill out of mountain, one liner | Leave a comment
“KING MIDAS REACHED FOR THE TOILET PAPER AND THEN PAUSED, SUDDENLY REALISING THE PREDICAMENT HE WAS IN.”
[BRETT ANDY]
February 2, 2012 | Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: brett andy, fun, gold, midas, one liner, sticky, toilet paper | Leave a comment
“CAN YOU PICTURE A WORLD WHERE LIONS AND TIGERS WEAR CROCS? OH MY!”
[BRETT ANDY]
February 2, 2012 | Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: brett andy, crocs, fun, lions, one liner, tigers, wizard of oz | Leave a comment
“I THINK A FUN JOB TO DO WOULD BE TO BECOME A BALLOT DANCER, COS WHEN I COME TO COLLECT YOUR VOTE YOU KNOW I’M GOING TO BE THROWING IN A PIROUETTE RIGHT THERE.”
[BRETT ANDY]
January 31, 2012 | Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: ballet, ballot, brett andy, dance, elections, fun, one liner, pirouette, voting | Leave a comment
“I WAS ASKED TO STOP SHOUTING “MARCO!” COS IT WAS STARTING TO SPOOK THE HORSES.”
[BRETT ANDY]
January 31, 2012 | Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: brett andy, fun, horses, marco, marco polo, one liner, polo | Leave a comment
Brett Andy 