“I STARED AT THE MAN EATING TIGER AND BEGAN TO WONDER IF THIS RESTAURANT WAS A TAD TOO EXOTIC FOR MY SIMPLE TASTES.”
[BRETT ANDY]
November 7, 2011 | Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: brett andy, expotic, funny, man-eating tiger, one liner, restaurant, simple tastes | Leave a comment
“AS THE NOOSE TIGHTENED, IT FELT LIKE MY BREATH WAS BEING FORCED OUT OF MY LUNGS AND MY WHOLE LIFE FLASHED INSTANTLY BEFORE ME. WAIT, NOT ‘NOOSE’, I MEAN ‘NECKTIE’.”
[BRETT ANDY]
November 6, 2011 | Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: breath, brett andy, fun, life flash, noose, one liner | Leave a comment
“THE TAXIDERMIST’S DOG SEEMED TO HAVE AN INSATIABLE APPETITE. HE WOULD EAT AND EAT AND NEVER SEEM TO BE GETTING ENOUGH. THEN ONE DAY HE WAS STUFFED.”
[BRETT ANDY]
November 5, 2011 | Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: appetite, brett and, dog, full, insatiable, stuffed, taxidermy | Leave a comment
“AS I MOVED MY COMPUTER MOUSE ICON OVER VARIOUS FOLDERS ON MY SCREEN, I COULDN’T UNDERSTAND WHY NONE OF THEM WERE OPENING. THEN SUDDENLY I CLICKED.”
[BRETT ANDY]
November 4, 2011 | Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: brett andy, clicked, computer, computer mouse, fun, one liner | Leave a comment
“SURE, HE HAD ATTRACTED ALL THE RATS OF THE CITY, BUT WHAT NOW?” THOUGHT THE PIED ORGANIST TO HIMSELF.
[BRETT ANDY]
October 31, 2011 | Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: hamlin, organ, pied piper, rats | Leave a comment
“I IMAGINE, IF YOU’RE PETER PARKER, IT’S A LOT MORE EMBARRASSING WHEN YOU GET DISCONNECTED FROM THE WEB.”
[BRETT ANDY]
October 25, 2011 | Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: brett andy, disconnected, embarrassing moments, fun, internet, one liner, spiderman, web | Leave a comment
“POW. THE RICE CRISPY WHO LEFT BEFORE THE GROUP WENT BIG.”
[BRETT ANDY]
September 29, 2011 | Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: beatles, breakfast, brett andy, fun, kellogs, one liner, pete best, rice crispy, snap crackle pop | Leave a comment
“AS I GLANCED DOWN ONCE MORE AT THE HEAD OF THE RASTA WHOSE HAIR I’D BEEN WORKING ON FOR THE PAST THREE HOURS, I THOUGHT TO MYSELF, “YUP. THIS IS WHAT I’VE BEEN DREADING.”
[BRETT ANDY]
September 29, 2011 | Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: brett andy, dreading, dreadlocks, hair, one liner, rasta | Leave a comment
“I HAD JUST SHOT TWO BIRDIES AND COULD BARELY BELIEVE THAT NOW THERE WAS THE POSSIBILITY OF ME ADDING AN EAGLE. I TOOK MY TIME LINING UP THE SHOT. IT WAS THEN THAT THE WORLD OF BIRDS SECURITY GUARD RUDELY TAPPED ME ON THE SHOULDER.”
[BRETT ANDY]
September 22, 2011 | Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: birdie, brett andy, eagle, fun, golf, omne liner, shot | Leave a comment
“DO YOU THINK IT BUGS TONTO THAT HIS CLOSE COMPANION AND FRIEND IS REFERRED TO AS THE ‘LONE’ RANGER?”
[BRETT ANDY]
September 21, 2011 | Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: brett andy, close, friendship, fun, one liner, the lone ranger, tonto | Leave a comment
“PERHAPS THE PARENTS OF THE BOY WHO CRIED “WOLF” COULD HAVE BEEN MORE CAREFUL IN CHOOSING TO LIVE IN AN AREA LESS FREQUENTED BY WILD ANIMALS.”
[BRETT ANDY]
September 18, 2011 | Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: boy who cried wolf, brett andy, one liner, parents, wild animals, wolf | Leave a comment
“I DON’T THINK THERE CAN BE ANYTHING SADDER THAN WATCHING A MIME STRUGGLE AT CHARADES. THAT WAS YOUR CHANCE, MAN!”
[BRETT ANDY]
September 11, 2011 | Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: actionary, brett andy, charades, mime, one liner, struggle | Leave a comment
“MY MATHS TEACHER ASKED ME WHAT THE TECHNICAL TERM WAS FOR TWELVE TIMES TWELVE AND I SAID, “THAT’S GROSS,” COS SHE HAD A TINY PIECE OF SNOT HANGING OFF THE END OF HER NOSE.”
[BRETT ANDY]
September 7, 2011 | Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: brett andy, gross, maths, numbers, one liner, snot | 1 Comment
“I WOULD IMAGINE A HORSE DRAWN CARRIAGE WOULD BE A REALLY UGLY THING. WITH HOOVES IT MUST BE ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE TO GRIP A PENCIL FOR STARTERS AND THEN THERE IS ALL THAT FINE DETAIL AROUND THE EDGES TO CONSIDER.”
[BRETTANDY]
September 5, 2011 | Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: art, brett andy, carriage, funny, horse-drawn, one liner, pencil, ugly | Leave a comment
“I DID A SEARCH FOR SPIDERMAN ON THE WEB THE OTHER DAY,”
[BRETT ANDY]
September 4, 2011 | Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: brett andy, internet, one liner, search, spiderman, web | Leave a comment
“I REMEMBER THE TIME I HAD AMNESIA.”
[BRETT ANDY]
September 3, 2011 | Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: amnesia, brett andy, forget, fun, memories, mind, one liner | Leave a comment
“I’D LIKE TO SEE THEM USE REAL CHIPS AT A CASINO. THAT WAY YOU HAVE THE CHOICE OF EITHER GAMBLING OR EATING YOUR MONEY AWAY.”
[BRETT ANDY]
August 29, 2011 | Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: brett andy, casino, chips, fun, gamblin, one liner | Leave a comment
“AS I SAT THERE WATCHING ROMEO AND JULIET I STARTED TO CRY. THEIR SENSELESS DEATHS REMINDING ME I NEED TO BE MORE VIGILANT WITH THE FISH FOOD.”
[BRETT ANDY]
August 28, 2011 | Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: brett andy, fish, fun, juliet, one liner, romeo | 1 Comment
“AS I BEGAN CHOPPING THE ONIONS MY EYES STARTED TO WATER. I WAS CONFUSED. WHY WAS PREPARING DINNER MAKING ME SO EMOTIONAL?”
[BRETT ANDY]
August 26, 2011 | Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: brett andy, chop onions, cry, emotional, fun, one liner | Leave a comment
“GIVE A MAN A FISH AND HE’LL EAT FOR A DAY. BUT SELL A MAN A FISH AND HE’LL EAT FOR A DAY PLUS YOU’LL HAVE ALL THAT EXTRA MONEY.”
[BRETT ANDY]
August 21, 2011 | Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: brett andy, eat, funny, give a man a fish, money, one liner | Leave a comment
‘”2B OR NOT 2B?” PONDERED HAMLET, AS HE CONTEMPLATED HIS OPENING MOVE IN BATTLESHIPS.’
[BRETT ANDY]
August 20, 2011 | Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: battleships, brett andy, fun, hamlet, one liner | Leave a comment
‘MY WIFE ASKED ME TO TURN THE KETTLE ON, SO I LOOKED AT IT AND SAID, “HEY BABY, HOW YOU DOIN?”‘
[BRETT ANDY]
August 19, 2011 | Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: brett andy, funny, kettle, one liner | Leave a comment
‘AFTER WATCHING THE CRICKET FOR FIVE DAYS I THOUGHT, ‘I’VE GOT TO GET ME A MORE INTERESTING BUG.”
[BRETT ANDY]
August 17, 2011 | Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: brett andy, bug, cricket, five day, fun, insect, one liner | Leave a comment
“THAT’S THE LAST TIME I PLAY BLACKJACK WITH MIKE TYSON.”
[BRETT ANDY]
August 16, 2011 | Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: blackjack, brett andy, hit me, mike tyson, one liner | 1 Comment
Brett Andy 