“I WAS WALKING DOWN A DARK ALLEY THE OTHER DAY UPDATING MY TWITTER WHEN I NOTICED SOMEONE HAD JUST STARTED FOLLOWING ME.”
[BRETT ANDY]
Latest
mow
“TWO DAYS INTO MOVEMBER AND I AM REALLY TIRED. I HONESTLY DON’T KNOW IF I CAN KEEP THIS UP FOR THE WHOLE MONTH…
…OH, AND I AM ALSO QUICKLY RUNNING OUT OF LAWNS.”
[Brett Andy]
commitment
“I JOINED AN ANTI-CONFORMITY GROUP, THEN IMMEDIATELY LEFT, TO PROVE TO THEM I BELONGED.”
[BRETT ANDY]
band
“DON’T JUDGE A BAND BY ITS COVER.”
[BRETT ANDY]
dream?
“I ONCE DREAMED THAT I WAS ASLEEP, BUT WHEN I WOKE UP, I WASN’T!”
[BRETT ANDY]
bridge
“LIKE A BRIDGE OVER TROUBLED WATERS, I WILL HOPEFULLY HAVE SUFFICIENT STRUCTURAL SUPPORT TO NOT CRUMBLE HELPLESSLY AND BE WASHED DOWNSTREAM.”
[BRETT ANDY]
beetroot
“I HAVE A PURPLE STAIN ON MY SLEEVE FROM CHOPPING VEGETABLES THE OTHER DAY. PEOPLE HAVE BEEN A LITTLE FREAKED OUT BY MY MARK OF THE BEETS.”
[BRETT ANDY]
homer
“I SWUNG WITH ALL MY MIGHT AND TO MY GREAT SURPRISE I HIT A HOMER! “DOH!” HE GROANED, AS HE CRUMPLED TO THE GROUND.”
[BRETT ANDY]
tack
“DO YOU KNOW WHAT MAKES ME LAUGH? A TAXIDERMIST FILLING OUT TAX FORMS IN A TAXI. GET YOURSELF AN ACCOUNTANT, MAN!”
[BRETT ANDY]
mole
“I REALISED I’D BEEN MAKING A MOUNTAIN OUT OF A MOLEHILL. THE MOLE FAMILY, IN PARTICULAR, WAS NOT AMUSED.”
[BRETT ANDY]
Brett Andy 