deep, random, humourous thoughts from the mind of the fish

Posts tagged “fun

dawn

“I HAD WAITED UP ALL NIGHT TO SEE THIS SUPPOSED “MAGICAL SUNRISE”, BUT HOUR AFTER HOUR, I COULDN’T UNDERSTAND WHERE THE SUN WAS HIDING. THEN SUDDENLY IT DAWNED ON ME.”

[BRETT ANDY]


carriage

“NICE GIRL,” THOUGHT PRINCE CHARMING TO HIMSELF, AS THEY DANCED CHEEK TO CHEEK, “BUT KINDA SMELLS LIKE PUMPKIN!”

[BRETT ANDY]


fall

“AS SPRING CONTINUED TO PROGRESS SOMEWHAT MEDIOCRELY, HUMPTY DUMPTY REMINISCED ABOUT THE GREAT FALL HE’D HAD JUST MONTHS AGO.”

[BRETT ANDY]


new

“I’VE ALWAYS WONDERED WHAT THE GNU FAMILY CELEBRATES ON JANUARY FIRST?”

[BRETT ANDY]


biology

“MR POTATO HEAD TOOK ONE LAST LOOK AT HIS REFLECTION IN THE MIRROR, BUT NOTHING COULD CHANGE THE TRUTH STARING BACK AT HIM. HIS HEAD WAS ALSO HIS BUTT.”

[BRETT ANDY]

 


cactus

“HIS FRIENDS WATCHED AS BILLY’S LIFELESS BODY SLUMPED TO THE GROUND, EACH OF THE THOUSAND BLOOD DROPLETS EVIDENCE OF A CORRESPONDING CACTUS SPIKE. AND THUS TREE-HUGGING WAS PROPOSED.”

[BRETT ANDY]


dots

“AS I FINISHED JOINING THE DOTS AND STOOD BACK TO ADMIRE MY HANDIWORK, I WONDERED IF MY COUSIN LAURA, PRESENTLY RECOVERING FROM THE MEASLES, WOULD APPRECIATE IT AS MUCH AS I DID WHEN SHE WOKE UP.”

[BRETT ANDY]


cloud

“AS THE CLOUDS STARTED TO GATHER, YOU COULD TELL BY THE LOOKS ON THEIR FACES THAT THIS WAS GOING TO BE ONE SERIOUSLY INTENSE MEETING.”

[BRETT ANDY]


openings

“AS TIM UNWRAPPED HIS LAST CHRISTMAS GIFT, HE SUDDENLY THOUGHT TO HIMSELF, “PERHAPS I SHOULD HAVE LEFT THAT TO THE PEOPLE I BOUGHT THEM FOR.”

[BRETT ANDY]


salmon

“SAMMY  STOPPED FOR A MOMENT, THOUGHT QUIETLY TO HIMSELF BEFORE SLOWLY TURNING AROUND AND TAKING OFF DOWNSTREAM. “HEY! STOP EVERYBODY!” HE SHOUTED AS HE SWAM BY. “WE’VE BEEN DOING IT WRONG!” ‘

[BRETT ANDY]


baby

‘ “STOP THROWING THE BABY OUT WITH THE BATHWATER!”  HANK KNEW THAT HIS WIFE WAS RIGHT. THAT WAS THE THIRD BABY THEY’D LOST ALREADY THIS WEEK.’ 

[BRETT ANDY]


stand

“AS GENERAL CUSTER STUDIED THE LOSSES COLUMN, HE REALISED THIS WAS PROBABLY THE END OF HIS ATTEMPTS AT MAKING IT HUGE IN THE LEMONADE BUSINESS.”

[BRETT ANDY]


swan

“AS THE UGLY DUCKLING CAUGHT SIGHT OF HIS REFLECTION IN THE POND, HE SMILED QUIETLY TO HIMSELF. NEVER AGAIN WOULD HE BE CALLED THAT HORRIBLE NAME. AND HE WAS RIGHT. FROM THAT DAY FORWARD IT WAS ‘THE UGLY SWAN’ ALL THE WAY.”

[BRETT ANDY]


seafood

“AS THE BLIND LADY ENTERED THE SEAFOOD RESTAURANT, SHE PONDERED THE IRONY.”

[BRETT ANDY]


toast

“AS I COMPLETED MY TOAST TO THE BRIDESMAIDS, THE USHERS GRABBED MY ARMS AND ESCORTED ME OUT OF THE CHURCH.”

[BRETT ANDY]


breath

“AS THE NOOSE TIGHTENED, IT FELT LIKE MY BREATH WAS BEING FORCED OUT OF MY LUNGS AND MY WHOLE LIFE FLASHED INSTANTLY BEFORE ME. WAIT, NOT ‘NOOSE’, I MEAN ‘NECKTIE’.”

[BRETT ANDY]


open

“AS I MOVED MY COMPUTER MOUSE ICON OVER VARIOUS FOLDERS ON MY SCREEN, I COULDN’T UNDERSTAND WHY NONE OF THEM WERE OPENING. THEN SUDDENLY I CLICKED.”

[BRETT ANDY]


awkward

“I IMAGINE, IF YOU’RE PETER PARKER, IT’S A LOT MORE EMBARRASSING WHEN YOU GET DISCONNECTED FROM THE WEB.”

[BRETT ANDY]


missed

“POW. THE RICE CRISPY WHO LEFT BEFORE THE GROUP WENT BIG.”

[BRETT ANDY]


eagle

“I HAD JUST SHOT TWO BIRDIES AND COULD BARELY BELIEVE THAT NOW THERE WAS THE POSSIBILITY OF ME ADDING AN EAGLE.  I TOOK MY TIME LINING UP THE SHOT. IT WAS THEN THAT THE WORLD OF BIRDS SECURITY GUARD RUDELY TAPPED ME ON THE SHOULDER.”

[BRETT ANDY]


companionship

“DO YOU THINK IT BUGS TONTO THAT HIS CLOSE COMPANION AND FRIEND IS REFERRED TO AS THE ‘LONE’ RANGER?”

[BRETT ANDY]


memories

“I REMEMBER THE TIME I HAD AMNESIA.”

[BRETT ANDY]



chips

“I’D LIKE TO SEE THEM USE REAL CHIPS AT A CASINO. THAT WAY YOU HAVE THE CHOICE OF EITHER GAMBLING OR EATING YOUR MONEY AWAY.”

[BRETT ANDY]


theatrical

“AS I SAT THERE WATCHING ROMEO AND JULIET I STARTED TO CRY. THEIR SENSELESS DEATHS REMINDING ME I NEED TO BE MORE VIGILANT WITH THE FISH FOOD.”

[BRETT ANDY]