“I HAVE LEARNT IN LIFE THAT YOU SHOULD NEVER MAKE FUN OF SOMEONE ELSE’S GRAMMAR…
BECAUSE SHE MIGHT TURN OUT TO BE A REALLY SCARY LADY AND COME AND BEAT YOU DOWN WITH HER STICK.”
[BRETT ANDY]
December 13, 2012 | Categories: Deep Thorts, Humour | Tags: brett andy, fun, funny, grammar, grammar police, old people, one liner | Leave a comment
‘I THINK IF I WAS GRANTED THREE WISHES, I’D BE ALL LIKE, “WAIT A MINUTE, FIRSTLY, WHO ARE YOU? AND WHAT WAS I DOING CLEANING THIS LAMP?”‘
[BRETT ANDY]
December 12, 2012 | Categories: Deep Thorts, Humour | Tags: aladdin, brett andy, fun, funny, genie, lamp, one liner | Leave a comment
“IF ANYONE OUT THERE THINKS I AM JUST AVERAGE AT CRASTINATING, YOU WOULD BE DEAD WRONG.
I AM A PRO CRASTINATOR!”
[BRETT ANDY]
December 11, 2012 | Categories: Deep Thorts, Humour | Tags: above average, brett andy, fun, one liner, procrastinator | 2 Comments
“I WAS WALKING DOWN A DARK ALLEY THE OTHER DAY UPDATING MY TWITTER WHEN I NOTICED SOMEONE HAD JUST STARTED FOLLOWING ME.”
[BRETT ANDY]
November 7, 2012 | Categories: Deep Thorts, Humour | Tags: brett andy, follow, fun, humour, one liner, twitter | Leave a comment
“TWO DAYS INTO MOVEMBER AND I AM REALLY TIRED. I HONESTLY DON’T KNOW IF I CAN KEEP THIS UP FOR THE WHOLE MONTH…
…OH, AND I AM ALSO QUICKLY RUNNING OUT OF LAWNS.”
[Brett Andy]
November 2, 2012 | Categories: Deep Thorts, Humour | Tags: brett and, fun, lawns, movember, one liner | Leave a comment
“I JOINED AN ANTI-CONFORMITY GROUP, THEN IMMEDIATELY LEFT, TO PROVE TO THEM I BELONGED.”
[BRETT ANDY]
September 20, 2012 | Categories: Deep Thorts, Humour | Tags: brett andy, comedy, fun, funny, one liner | Leave a comment
“I ONCE DREAMED THAT I WAS ASLEEP, BUT WHEN I WOKE UP, I WASN’T!”
[BRETT ANDY]
February 17, 2012 | Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: brett andy, dream, fun, one liner, reality, surreal | Leave a comment
“LIKE A BRIDGE OVER TROUBLED WATERS, I WILL HOPEFULLY HAVE SUFFICIENT STRUCTURAL SUPPORT TO NOT CRUMBLE HELPLESSLY AND BE WASHED DOWNSTREAM.”
[BRETT ANDY]
February 9, 2012 | Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: brett andy, bridge, fun, one liner, simon and garfunkel, water | Leave a comment
“I HAVE A PURPLE STAIN ON MY SLEEVE FROM CHOPPING VEGETABLES THE OTHER DAY. PEOPLE HAVE BEEN A LITTLE FREAKED OUT BY MY MARK OF THE BEETS.”
[BRETT ANDY]
February 8, 2012 | Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: beetroot, brett andy, chopping, mark of the beast, one liner, purple, stain, vegetables | Leave a comment
“I SWUNG WITH ALL MY MIGHT AND TO MY GREAT SURPRISE I HIT A HOMER! “DOH!” HE GROANED, AS HE CRUMPLED TO THE GROUND.”
[BRETT ANDY]
February 6, 2012 | Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: baseball, brett andy, fun, home run, homer, one liner, simpsons | Leave a comment
“DO YOU KNOW WHAT MAKES ME LAUGH? A TAXIDERMIST FILLING OUT TAX FORMS IN A TAXI. GET YOURSELF AN ACCOUNTANT, MAN!”
[BRETT ANDY]
February 6, 2012 | Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: accountant, brett andy, fun, humour, one liner, tax, tax forms, taxi, taxidermist | Leave a comment
“I REALISED I’D BEEN MAKING A MOUNTAIN OUT OF A MOLEHILL. THE MOLE FAMILY, IN PARTICULAR, WAS NOT AMUSED.”
[BRETT ANDY]
February 3, 2012 | Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: brett andy, fun, mole, molehill, mountain, olehill out of mountain, one liner | Leave a comment
“KING MIDAS REACHED FOR THE TOILET PAPER AND THEN PAUSED, SUDDENLY REALISING THE PREDICAMENT HE WAS IN.”
[BRETT ANDY]
February 2, 2012 | Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: brett andy, fun, gold, midas, one liner, sticky, toilet paper | Leave a comment
“CAN YOU PICTURE A WORLD WHERE LIONS AND TIGERS WEAR CROCS? OH MY!”
[BRETT ANDY]
February 2, 2012 | Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: brett andy, crocs, fun, lions, one liner, tigers, wizard of oz | Leave a comment
“I THINK A FUN JOB TO DO WOULD BE TO BECOME A BALLOT DANCER, COS WHEN I COME TO COLLECT YOUR VOTE YOU KNOW I’M GOING TO BE THROWING IN A PIROUETTE RIGHT THERE.”
[BRETT ANDY]
January 31, 2012 | Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: ballet, ballot, brett andy, dance, elections, fun, one liner, pirouette, voting | Leave a comment
“I WAS ASKED TO STOP SHOUTING “MARCO!” COS IT WAS STARTING TO SPOOK THE HORSES.”
[BRETT ANDY]
January 31, 2012 | Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: brett andy, fun, horses, marco, marco polo, one liner, polo | Leave a comment
“WHEN I WAS A KID I WANTED TO GROW UP TO BE A MIME ARTIST. BUT I HAD TO GIVE IT UP, BECAUSE I JUST STRUGGLED SO MUCH TO PAINT THOSE INVISIBLE ROPES AND BOXES.”
[BRETT ANDY]
January 31, 2012 | Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: brett andy, funny, invisible box, invisible rope, mime, mime artist, one liner | Leave a comment
“THIS ‘WAR ON POVERTY’ IDEA SEEMS A LITTLE UNFAIR AS THE POOR DON’T REALLY HAVE GOOD ACCESS TO DECENT WEAPON TECHNOLOGY.”
[BRETT ANDY]
January 30, 2012 | Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: brett andy, fun, one liner, poor, technology, war on poverty, weapons | 1 Comment
“I HAD WAITED UP ALL NIGHT TO SEE THIS SUPPOSED “MAGICAL SUNRISE”, BUT HOUR AFTER HOUR, I COULDN’T UNDERSTAND WHERE THE SUN WAS HIDING. THEN SUDDENLY IT DAWNED ON ME.”
[BRETT ANDY]
January 25, 2012 | Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: brett andy, dawn, fun, one liner, sun | Leave a comment
“NICE GIRL,” THOUGHT PRINCE CHARMING TO HIMSELF, AS THEY DANCED CHEEK TO CHEEK, “BUT KINDA SMELLS LIKE PUMPKIN!”
[BRETT ANDY]
January 13, 2012 | Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: brett andy, cinderella, dancing, fun, higher grade, one liner, prince charming, pumpkin carriage, smells | Leave a comment
“AS SPRING CONTINUED TO PROGRESS SOMEWHAT MEDIOCRELY, HUMPTY DUMPTY REMINISCED ABOUT THE GREAT FALL HE’D HAD JUST MONTHS AGO.”
[BRETT ANDY]
January 12, 2012 | Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: brett andy, fun, great fall, humpty dumpty, one liner, reminisce, spring | Leave a comment
“I’VE ALWAYS WONDERED WHAT THE GNU FAMILY CELEBRATES ON JANUARY FIRST?”
[BRETT ANDY]
January 8, 2012 | Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: brett andy, celebration, first of january, fun, gnu, new years, one liner, party | Leave a comment
“MR POTATO HEAD TOOK ONE LAST LOOK AT HIS REFLECTION IN THE MIRROR, BUT NOTHING COULD CHANGE THE TRUTH STARING BACK AT HIM. HIS HEAD WAS ALSO HIS BUTT.”
[BRETT ANDY]
January 8, 2012 | Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: awkward, brett andy, butt, fun, mr potato head, one liner | Leave a comment
“HIS FRIENDS WATCHED AS BILLY’S LIFELESS BODY SLUMPED TO THE GROUND, EACH OF THE THOUSAND BLOOD DROPLETS EVIDENCE OF A CORRESPONDING CACTUS SPIKE. AND THUS TREE-HUGGING WAS PROPOSED.”
[BRETT ANDY]
January 7, 2012 | Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: brett andy, cactus, fun, one liner, spike, thorn, tree-hugging | Leave a comment
Brett Andy 